if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
