doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
