JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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