Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
