Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize