The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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