Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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