nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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