it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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