As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
