i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize