Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
