While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize