If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
