Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize