A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
