I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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