It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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