Christians are straight up FREAKS
actually, I'm a sock model
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
