wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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