he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
