He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize