Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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