Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize