Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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