I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
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Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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