What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
