i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
