she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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