The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
