It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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