he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
