my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize