between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How does one acquire holy water?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize