fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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