If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
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I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
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I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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