if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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