Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost