GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.