How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.