Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
