I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
should my penis look like a turkey
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
