So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
