yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
