What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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