just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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