you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
