I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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