i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
