Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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