y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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