I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize