So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
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I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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