So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
