I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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