Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize