please come you make the beer taste better
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize