im about as happy as oj after his trial
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i think i just lost a toe
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
