you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize