Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
